Ever have one of those moments where God just totally opens your eyes to the spiritual state of things around you? Where He strips away all your selfish thoughts and completely makes you see things from His perspective? Kinda had one of those moments tonight and I feel the need to share it…
So today was one of those days where I just felt kind of unbalanced for no identifiable reason. Yeah sure, I’ve been rushing to read a book and write a report on it that is due tomorrow (no procrastination on my part obviously :/ ), but it wasn’t stressing me out much. Yet every time I sat down to read this book, I felt unsettled and restless. Thinking that a walk might help a bit, I decided to head down to Freemont Street. It’s about a 20 minute walk from the base, and is a frequent hang out for us students as it has multiples shops, including a local coffee shop (called The Beat) we often visit. It closes early on Sundays however, so instead I headed to a Starbucks there that I knew had outdoor seating. With Salted Caramel Mocha Frappuccino (which was heavenly, btw!) in hand, I sat down to read my book for the next couple hours.
I got a good half of the book read while I was there, but the edginess I felt earlier never fully left me. In fact, it grew until I had a full on stomach ache and nearly shaky hands. At first I tried to brush it off as being a result of the sugar content from the Frappuccino; I usually avoid that heavy a combo of sugar and caffeine, so it seemed like a plausible reason. But then other random emotions started to envelope me: sorrow, longing, heart breaking pain. When that hit me, I knew there was more going on than a coffee overload. I could no longer ignore what I was feeling, but not knowing what to do or why I felt like this I decided it was time to pack up and get back to the base. It was going to be dark soon anyway and I needed to get back before then.
As I started to walk down Freemont, the dark mood I felt earlier continued to trouble me. Knowing by this point that it was spiritual I cried out to God, “Help me! Why do I feel this way? If this is an attack from the enemy, send this mood away. Otherwise, show me what the heck is going on?!”
Well, I asked…so He showed me.
It was only a brief moment, but what I saw is still clear in my mind. He ripped back the physical curtain and showed me the spiritual that lay behind it. The crowd of people I was passing on the street… they no longer looked like regular people.
They were skeletons.
Dead, lifeless, walking, talking skeletons. But not like the nice skeletal models you see on medical posters or in doctor’s offices. These skeletons had rotting frames, stained with mold and dry blood; pieces of rancid flesh hanging from brittle bones. Some were even missing fingers and toes. But all of them had rotten teeth and empty eye sockets, the most eerie part of allin my opinion. I’d look into the spaces where there should have been a pair of eyes, and all I saw were dark holes staring back at me. Yet as creepy as this site was, I honestly didn’t think about it that way in the moment. All the emotions that had threatened to overcome me, suddenly made sense. The pain, the sorrow, and the desperation… were not of me.
They were of Him.
He was showing me His heart and His eyes for these people. The death that filled that place was heart breaking. I almost had a literal meltdown in the middle of the street; as it was, I could barely keep the tears from escaping my eyes. I could go on and on about what I felt, but the poem I wrote as soon as I got back expresses it just as well. I usually don’t share these kinds of writings with other peoples, so bear with me if the style is a bit rough. Usually I don’t write my poems with other readers in mind. But as you read this (it’s kind of long, so I don’t blame you if you don’t! haha), I ask that you will pray for God to show His heart to you, as He did for me. It’s not always an easy thing to experience, but it’s SO worth it in the long run. Oh, and I also encourage you to read Ezekiel 37 sometime after this. I won’t go into what it’s about here, but if you read it you will definitely see how it relates to what I’m talking about.
Awaken
Pass them on the street, look into their eyes;
The blank look behind them is frightful.
Smiles on the outside, but apathetic inside;
Death just surrounds them.
Let’s party the night away, party hard;
Feel the beat pounding in our ears.
Let the music replace the lack of a beating heart,
A shadow of the real thing.
I can see past the glitz and glam
The drunken laughter and flirtatious looks.
They tempt, promising satisfaction, but only for a moment;
Fill you for a fleeting minute, but you’ll become empty again.
So many blind eyes, so many lost souls,
He opens my eyes, lets me see them how He does.
The swaying, dancing flesh is stripped away
And what remains is horrific.
I blink, but what He reveals to me is still there.
Skeletons, dripping with rotten flesh;
They walk blindly, their eye sockets empty.
Stiffly moving forward, every step filled with pain.
They eat and drink, but it all falls out of their exposed rib cages.
They reach out to one another, but every touch threatens to break their fragile bones.
So they wander off alone, futily trying to find fulfillment elsewhere.
“My daughter,” He says to me; no, He begs.
“They are so dead; the smell of their rancid flesh fills my nostrils.
But it saddens me, more than repulses.
Will you please breathe life into these dead bones? Awaken them!”
He shows me His heart for them, and it breaks me.
I look into their empty eyes and want to weep.
I want to scream at the top of my lungs, “Wake up! Come to life!
Don’t you know how much He loves you?! Please believe it and receive it!
Oh dead souls, please come alive!
I know how empty you are; let me tell you how to be filled forever.
Come away from the lies and choking darkness that lead only to death.
Enter into His truth and warm loving light!”
My brothers and sisters, He has commanded us.We have been charged with a mission:
He has breathed life into us so we can do so for others.
The Creator is crying out to His creation,
“Come back to Me! Know Me as you were meant to.”
His heart yearns for these lost souls. Dare we deny Him this plea?
The decision lies in your hands.
If you truly love Him…
You know what to do.
Arise!
'Nuff said.
